Taking a Leap of Faith

Days race by and we find ourselves feeling like rats, caught in a maze, searching for cheese, wondering if it even exists. Our memory tells us it exists, but the frantic scurry of our little paws causes us to doubt.

Before my three week vacation, I felt like this: exhausted and harried. You may not have noticed it from the outside, but inwardly I was shrinking inward. Taking three weeks to rest, catch up on important but non-urgent tasks (taxes, filing for a passport, writing…), and to decompress reminded me.  Rest is for more than just our bodies, it heals our soul. <tweet that> Most would agree that rest is important, but the idea remains hypothetical and weak until we do.

When we rest: our bodies heal, our minds have space to process, our hearts have room to feel, and we awaken to the joy and sorrow of today.

Instead of a day full of blurred experiences rushing by, we become attuned to the nuance of the moment and are able to best respond to it. Instead of simply observing Eli as I rush through my day, I begin soak in the details of his expressions, the strength of his chubby wrists and the way he curls his tongue against the roof of his mouth when he smiles.

When we rest we become open to hearing from and responding to God. <tweet that>

During my vacation I was able to stop and allow my emotions to catch up with me. I stopped being in survival mode and was able to identify and accept how I felt about the recent changes in our lives. It allowed me to move forward.

Our church is doing a series titled “Leap of Faith” and it is based on the premise that we often stop talking to God about that which is most important to us. We construct barriers between ourselves and God for a variety of reasons: fear, disappointment, and unanswered prayers to name a few.

I was thankful that the series began during my vacation because I had the time and space to read the daily devotional and reflect on what God is calling me to. It takes courage to admit and talk about what is heaviest on our hearts. If you’re anything like me, I try to figure things out on my own. “I got this.” I stubbornly push forward with the false belief that if I work and think hard enough, I can figure it out.

This mindset is detrimental for a number of reasons: I miss opportunities to connect with God and my community. Part of the “Leap of Faith” series is committing to daily pray for a) something specific you would like to see God do in your life; b) a feeling you would like God to grow or change in your life; c) specific people who need more of God in their lives; d) our church.

“Leap of Faith” is not about getting results (although this often happens), it is about reconnecting with God and becoming aware of His work in our lives. It brings our fears, discouragements, hopes and joy to the surface as we communicate with God.

If you’re like me, the areas we care most about are the hardest to invite God into. <tweet that>

My prayer during this season is for God to grow my writing business. This sounds simple, but if you’re like me, the dream I care about the most is the one that carries the most resistance.

My pockets are full of fear: what do I have to say? why sholud people listen? is it possible to make writing a part of an already hectic life?

Praying about this everyday is hard, even though I think about this everyday. Talking to God about it keeps me vulnerable and humble before Him. It acknowledges that I need His strength, peace and guidance to move forward.

My leap of faith is inviting God into an area that I would rather hide from Him. It feels messy and chaotic. I am not sure of the outcome of inviting God into this area.

Bringing an area of deep longing, an area that is easily wounded to God brings me face to face with my desire for more than living in fear. It also brings me face to face with who God is: Creator, Sustainer, Beginning & End, Power, Authority, Love, Mercy…

I want more of Him.

Thank you to each of you who has prayed for me and sent kind thoughts my way. I have found a counselor and look forward to the work, even if it is hard work, of processing through this season.

Working full time while being a mom is hard. I miss the days of creating a simple rhythm with Eli that involves play time, naps, feeding and walking… The Ebook I am working on now is tips and encouragement for working moms. I will keep you posted on its progress.

How about you? What areas do you want to invite God into?

It’s always a joy to hear from you (even if only a sentence or two).


PS: If you haven’t had a chance to check out my Ebook yet, you can find it here. Living with Dragons: How to Protect Your Inner World. If you want to live free from the lies that haunt us and seek to destroy our lives (dragons), this book is for you.

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