She shuffled her papers in the front of the room, I didn’t have as much time to prepare as I had hoped, but here it is…
We’ve all done it before. Standing on the precipice, about to share or present our work — whether with a friend or an entire room of people — and we begin by apologizing.
This reflex act of self-protection stunts our growth and distances our work from us, we feel safer sharing because it is not our best work, it is our mediocre work.
We need to STOP IT!
You made something! Whether it is a painting, a poem or a story — YOU made it.
Thousands of creative people do not even get that far, so be kind to yourself and let your art stand on its own — without excuses.
Whether you have poured five minutes, five hours or five weeks into your creation: there is always room for improvement and it is vulnerable and intimate to share our art — this piece of ourselves- with others, but we need to stop apologizing.
The secrets to help you stop apologizing:
- your audience does not know how long you spent preparing
- your audience does not share the vision for your work that you have
- your audience is kinder than you think (unless there is a critic among them — but we all know to take the words of a critic with a big grain of salt)
When you stop apologizing, you allow your audience to interact with your art AS IT IS. This opens up space for feedback. If we are constantly apologizing, we stunt the feedback we could have received because our audience thinks, they didn’t have as much time as they wanted. She was tired. Her kid was sick. etc. Instead of giving us valuable feedback, our audience feels sorry for us and believes our excuses: it could have been better. I don’t know a single artist who wants the pity of others — and yet by apologizing, this is what we invite.
Apologies do not strengthen our art — they weaken it. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, and even today I have to bite my tongue to keep from apologizing and barricading myself behind my excuses.
Instead of apologizing, tell yourself:
- I did my best.
- My work stands on its own.
- I will not invite pity.
- I am strong.
- I am confident.
- I am learning everyday.
- This piece does not define me, but is a part of my journey.
What are your thoughts? How do you keep yourself from apologizing?
Are you ready to stop apologizing and start writing & start making a profit?