How do you start the New Year?

I make time to quiet my soul. Waiting for the internal waves of my emotions and thoughts to settle.

Quiet.
Stillness.

Looking over the trail of my footsteps this last year. My biggest highlight was the opportunity to work from home. The deep longing and missing of Eli each day has subsided now that I am with him each day. Sometimes it is replaced by a nagging, “I wish I could get away to work”, but mostly I remember the gift that spending each day with him is.

His smile continues to melt my heart and I am in awe of his daily sprouting up and increased communication. Each day his eyes flicker with greater understanding.

Eli links me to the divine, reminding me daily that life is a gift.

Even if the day’s plans turn to dust, he reminds me that all is not lost: this moment with him snuggled into the crevice of my arms. I push my soul into the fullness of this moment so that it becomes seared into my memory forever. Although one of us will pass to eternity first, we have this moment and it cannot be taken away.

Quiet.
Stillness.

I’ve been looking ahead. This is going to be a big year for me as a writer. I’ve been making plans and throwing them up to God. Guide me. This is bigger than what I can do.

My motto: embrace forward movement and not perfection

This idea is freeing me to create more, ship it even if it is not perfect and to jump into learning more. It’s OK that I don’t know all the right steps and the right way to create, promote or even start. I’m making a commitment to move forward. I began focusing on this motto at the end of 2015 and it’s already made a BIG difference in my ability to acknowledge my fears and move on.

It’s why I created an Etsy store with imperfect art and ideas. I’m going to improve this year.

It’s why I committed to 1,000 surveys of moms even though I’m only at 130 today. I’m going to keep finding moms who are willing to participate.

It’s why I’ve begun writing my book for moms instead of waiting until I have all 1,000 surveys. I will add to it as the surveys come in and if I keep waiting to start, I never will.

Everyone has excuses and I have my share.

This last Thursday, in my Bible study, we were quieting our hearts to hear from God and as I asked if there was anything I needed to surrender: self-sufficiency.

It’s hard to ask for help, let alone invite God into a situation. It’s been a long journey of inviting Him into my writing and starting to believe that He cares and wants to use my words.
My family and I recently moved in with my mother-in-law to save money while Jon is in school. She is wonderful but the experience of being a guest in someone’s home is hard for me.

After surrendering, we prayed for what God would speak to us about this coming year: receive.

Ugh. I’d rather be giving than receiving, this ties in with my self-sufficiency. I hate feeling indebted to others. Moving past my initial negative reaction, I hear whispers of promise at the edges of my soul.

Does God really have good gifts for me this year?

Meditating on the word RECEIVE is slowly opening my heart. I don’t know exactly what it means, but I’m tentatively opening my hands.

Thank you for journeying with me.

I would love to hear from you.

Deanne

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PPS: You will need to copy and paste the link into your browser, my link setting is not working this morning.