Laying in bed last night, the questions spun round. What am I doing? Where is this all leading? Does it even matter? To calm my mind I imagined all the weight and worry resting in the palms of my hands. These are the times I wish my brain had an off switch. During the day it’s easy to ignore the questions and worry by keeping busy, but at night they try to take center stage.
Slowing my breathing down, I slowly opened my palms and began asking God to meet me and lift the weight from me so I could be at peace and sleep. This morning, in the dawn of a new day and with the calmed emotions of a well slept night, I journaled God’s invitation to me:

Surrender all this to me. The mess within and the mess without. It’s not overwhelming to me. I can handle it.
I’ve got this.
I will walk you through the storm, even the storm of your questioning. The dreams you have and the plans you try to put into place: remember that I have a clearer view.
Some of your dreams and goals are given by me, others are not. I will illuminate the way before you, one step at a time. While I may give you a glimpse into the future, it will not become clear until you arrive. Hold onto me; I will guide you. I will never leave you. Allow me to refine your dreams, goals and you.
My purposes will be fulfilled despite your misgivings and feelings of inadequacy. I delight in doing this: taking weak and broken vessels to display my glory. Enjoy the journey. It’s okay to pay attention, but you don’t have to wear yourself our with striving and trying. I’ve got this. Rest in me.

What’s God inviting you into today?

I desperately needed His reminder this morning. January was a month of learning and laying a foundation for the remainder of the year. I had purchased some Udemy courses on Kindle Publishing and Writing with the goal of gaining expertise and equipping myself to write more books. I’ve learned so much.
I journaled countless pages, trying to sort through my expectations and goals to the heart of where I want to go and what is realistic amidst work, marriage and a very busy toddler. Last weekend I condensed it into a plan, wrote it down and committed to making it happen.
This is where fear likes to creep in. I’m aiming for some BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) and now that the plan is in place and I’m stepping forward: the questions swirl around. The good news is that it’s normal. The writers and artists I most admire wrestle with these same questions and fears. They are nothing new. Remembering this keeps me sane and motivates me to move forward.

The tension I feel moving forward is less than the discouragement of staying still.

As I begin this year and my writing, I wanted to say THANK YOU to each of you.
THANK YOU FOR JOURNEYING WITH ME via my blog and on Facebook.
If there is anything I can do to support or encourage you in your journey, let me know.

Deanne

PS: If you missed my last video on fear and courage, check it out here.

PPS: If you haven’t LIKED my Facebook page, and want to: click here.